That first Gig - Exciting And Scary
Initially, I was going to start this week’s set of blogs off with a craft, but this has been a busy and exciting weekend. This means I have all of the materials but no craft. I should have that craft ready for you sometime this week, but I want to share some exciting news for now.
I started my first real freelance gig this weekend!! I am currently editing short stories, and it is so much fun. I think I had forgotten how much I love editing and writing. It’s like second nature, and it is exciting to feel like I am finally getting my foot in the door.
I will admit that I had a bit of a panic moment after submitting my first project. What if they hated my work? What if I wasn’t as good as I thought I was? All of these insane doubts and fears came flooding in very quickly. I took time to step away from the computer, without putting any deadlines at risk, and let myself freak out. After the freak out I sat and thought about these fears rationally. If they didn’t like me:
That didn’t mean I wasn’t good.
It was ok to not be specifically what they were looking for.
I could keep looking for new/more work.
This could be a learning experience.
It would push me to better myself.
Thankfully once I calmed down it was easy to figure these things out, but I really did need to allow myself to panic first. Sometimes it is best to step away and reassess. Also thankfully, they loved my work and were ready to assign me project number two.
This panic was completely forgotten once the second document was opened and I started reading this interesting piece of sci-fi. However, that evening, I did feel like I was having an anxiety attack, as out of nowhere tears started to form and flow down my face. This came out of nowhere, as I was excited for the opportunity, and enjoying the work. What in the world could this be? Why was I sad when I absolutely should be happy?
So I did, what all of us do, and went to my dear friend Google. Of course, I open the first handful of links in new tabs to look through. I open the first one and feel like maybe I’m not so crazy after all. The article, on Bustle.com, is Experts Explain Why Good News Can Make You Feel Sad by Jay Polish, click HERE to give it a read.
We are currently in the midst of a long (over two years) “emotionally charged experience,” according to Dr. Navya Singh, doctor of psychology. It is hard to be happy and excited when so many things have gone wrong, when it has been a very emotionally straining time, and when some of the people we would normally celebrate with may not be here anymore. The article goes on to say that it is ok to be happy about something, even while others are sad.
I am here to say that it is ok to be happy and excited even when bad/sad things are happening around you and/or to people you care about. If something exciting and good is happening to or for you, you need to allow yourself to be happy for you. Now I’m not saying to flaunt that happiness around those who are going through a tough time, you’re not trying to throw your happiness at others, but it is ok to share your joy.
This is actually the first that I am writing or talking about getting this job. I’m still not sure why I was not sharing this accomplishment with friends and family. So here I am trying to share, to make sure that you know that it is ok to share. Keeping any of these emotions bottled up, especially after going through this pandemic, is not healthy and it will hurt you more to keep things to yourself.
So share your happiness, your sadness, your excitement, your fears. Do not isolate yourself emotionally. You are allowed to feel your feelings and it is great to share these experiences with others who may be happy for you, or who may have been holding back the same feelings.
Go be the best you!